The Slumber Duology started with Slumber and with a bang! I hit International best seller on Amazon within a day, which solidified the books standing in the fantasy genre. I wrote the book I had been always meaning to write. The ONE. Yet, it still wasn't the one to put me on the map.
But that was okay with me. I was content and happy to have the following I have.
Awaken ended the duology and I brushed off my keyboard a happy writer after hitting best seller in the US.
Was I on the map? Sort of, but not in the way I wanted.
I sat back recently and looked at my life as a mom, writer, wife and person. Was I happy?
Did I have to be on the map?
The answer to both was; no.
I wasn't happy that I obsessed with being a famous or semi-famous author. Why did I have to be that anyway? That's not what writing was about for me. I had seemed to lose what I really wanted when I set out to be an author. I was losing touch with the 'reason for writing books'.
I saw friends who started out at the same time as me and they were doing really well; better than me. I was making a competition out of it and that's not what I want.
Why did I find the need to be famous all of a sudden?
Because eventually you want to hit that goal of yours. My goal was to someday hit NYT best seller. But it may never happen.
It still could, but what if it didn't?
So I made the decision to take a little break. I want to find that spark that I had when I wrote Who We Were. The one that had me wanting to write good books not because of the fame or because I wanted to be on the map, but because I wanted to write books for readers to enjoy.
I'm currently taking that break and I'm not really writing much.
The stress is lessening and the happiness is returning. I'm a better mom because I'm on the computer less. I'm a better wife because I'm not constantly on the computer at night.
I do not want to push myself to write this next book. It won't be good if I do that. I don't want to write crap just because I feel the need to write a book that comes out in the Spring.
I want to write a book from my soul like I did with Slumber and Awaken and even Who We Were.
I love those three books but I can honestly tell you if I write a book now, it won't be as good.
My soul won't be in it.
Is it safe for an author to take a break? I don't know.
Am I worried fans will forget about me? Yes.
But is that all that matters? No.
When you become a writer your fans are your lifeline to the book world and making them happy is important but in life, that's not all that matters. Life is short and precious and I've seen good people leave too early. I want to make my mark on this planet for the short time I'm here, but I refuse to sit back and watch from the sidelines. I want to be out there living.
So until next time, read on, live best, and love more.